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Many people often feel one thing in their life that no matter how well they behave with the other person, in return they do not get the respect and importance they deserve. Be it office environment, family talk or group of friends, many times a person starts feeling completely alone, ignored and humiliated. Gradually this thing starts troubling the mind, self-confidence starts wavering and the person starts breaking from within.
But here is a very interesting thing to understand – it is not necessary that the other person is wrong every time. Many times, we have some habits of our own which unknowingly give people a chance to take us for granted. The great diplomat and scholar Acharya Chanakya has explained this pattern of human nature and society very deeply in his policies. He believed that just being a ‘good person’ is not enough to get respect, but it is equally important to have a strong balance and boundaries in your personality.
Let us know what are those small mistakes of ours which start reducing our respect and how should we improve them according to Chanakya Niti.
1. Excessive bending and the disease of saying ‘yes’
In today’s time, many people are busy trying to “keep everyone happy”. Forgetting their work, their priorities and even their likes and dislikes, they start agreeing with others. This habit may seem very nice and polite in the beginning, but in the long run it hurts your self-esteem the most.
Acharya Chanakya says that society often considers excessive humility as weakness. People stop taking people seriously who are ready for everyone’s work 24 hours a day, do not have any opinion of their own and always put others’ convenience first. The one who knows how to set a strong limit of his self-respect is always appreciated.
2. Publicly flaunting one’s weaknesses
Some people are very direct and emotional by nature. They trust others in a short time and reveal all the secrets of their heart, their problems and their weaknesses to the other person. They think that by doing this the other person will sympathize with them, but the real world is not like this.
According to Chanakya Niti, an intelligent person is the one who always keeps his shortcomings and family complications secret. Not every person in this world is trustworthy. There are many people who will be sweet in front of you, but when the time comes, instead of supporting you, they will use your weakness as a weapon against you.
Increasing danger in the era of social media
In today’s digital era, this habit has become more dangerous. People have started sharing their personal sorrows, relationship conflicts or mental stress openly on social media. In the beginning, some people may show sympathy through likes or comments, but later people start making fun of the same thing behind the back. Therefore, keep your personal matters limited to only very special and trusted people.
Self-esteem vs ego: It is important to understand the difference
Many times people mistake self-respect for ego or pride, whereas there is a world of difference between the two. You can easily understand this from the table given below:
3. Wrong company and surrounding environment
There is an old and very accurate saying that ‘a man is known only by his company’. This is 100% true in today’s corporate and social life also. If you always hang out among people who make fun of others, lie, are lazy or have no respect in the society, then the society will weigh you on the same scale even if you don’t want to.
Acharya Chanakya has said in clear words that only company decides a person’s future and his reputation. The company of positive, honest and intelligent people enhances your personality and brings you respect, whereas the company of wrong people ruins your built image.
4. Habit of speaking immediately without thinking
Words have great power – they can make a crying person laugh and can leave a laughing person forever scarred. Many people say things without thinking in anger, in a hurry or in an attempt to impress others. When the anger subsides, they repent, but by then the arrow has already left the bow and there is a deep distance in the relationship.
In today’s busy life, people like to react immediately to everything. Even on social media, it has become very common to comment on any post without thinking or to get into arguments with others. Chanakya says that a wise person always weighs his words before speaking. The greatest wisdom is to remain calm and say the right thing at the right time, at the right place.
Conclusion: Respect is earned, not demanded
If you want people everywhere to pay attention to you, respect you and have a name in the society, then stop blaming your fate or others. Getting respect always starts with yourself. When you learn to set your limits, start smiling and saying ‘no’ to the wrong things, choose the company of good and honest people and speak serious words thoughtfully, then the whole world will automatically be forced to respect you.