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Great Diplomat, Economist and Guide Acharya Chanakya In his immortal book ‘Chanakya Niti’, he has given many esoteric practical rules regarding human life, society, politics and family relations. Chanakya believed that the easier it is to form relationships, the more difficult it is to maintain them for a long time with dignity and respect.
Often, while visiting the homes of relatives, relatives or friends, people commit some basic social and practical mistakes due to which their respect and honor gradually disappears. According to Chanakya Niti, an intelligent person is one who keeps his limits, time and decorum in mind while visiting someone’s house as a guest.
The most basic and strict principle of Chanakya Niti is that one should not spend more time than necessary as a guest in someone’s house:
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A certain limit of hospitality: Chanakya says that a guest in any house is welcomed like a god on the first and second day, but if a person stays there for weeks without any concrete reason, then he becomes a burden to the host.
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Disturbance in daily life: Every family has its own daily routine, personal commitments and financial budget. Prolonged stays put a strain on the host’s personal life and budget, creating dissatisfaction and sourness within.
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Formula for maintaining respect: A wise person is the one who bids farewell respectfully as soon as the work is completed or after spending proper time of 1-2 days, so that the next time he comes, he is welcomed with the same cordiality.
The biggest mistake people make when visiting relatives is that they start giving unsolicited advice:
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Distance from internal disputes at home: Chanakya Niti makes it clear that you should not give your opinion on internal issues of someone else’s house, mutual communication between husband and wife, decisions related to parenting of children or property unless you are specifically asked for guidance.
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Giving unsolicited opinion is foolishness: Unsolicited advice often causes discord. The host may feel that you are trying to control their personal life or question their decisions.
The most unbecoming behavior as a guest is to find faults in someone’s lifestyle, eating habits or household arrangements:
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Be respectful of what is served: Whatever food or facility the host offers according to his financial capacity and devotion, it should be accepted with humility and gratitude.
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Comparing someone else’s home is insulting: Telling more or less salt in food, criticizing the decoration of rooms or making the host feel inferior by talking about the comforts and amenities of your home is considered a proof of your unculturedness. This can break relationships forever.
According to Chanakya Niti, ego and unnecessary show off are the biggest enemies of man:
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Do not boast of your prosperity: If you are financially more prosperous than your relative, it is highly inappropriate to go to their house and brag about your expensive clothes, jewellery, cars or influence. It hurts the self-respect of the host.
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Never go empty handed: It is also said in Chanakya Niti that one should never go to the house of a king (ruler), guru, vaidya (doctor) and friend or relative completely empty handed. Taking fruits, sweets or gifts for children as per your capacity is a symbol of cordiality and courtesy.
A true and trustworthy relative is one who keeps secret what is seen within the walls of one’s house:
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Don’t flaunt shortcomings and secrets: By staying at someone’s house, you may come to know about their weaknesses, mutual differences or financial difficulties. Making these things a subject of gossip or laughter in front of a third person is called betrayal.
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The person who exposes the secrets of others’ homes in the society, the society never looks at him with respect and ultimately all the relatives keep distance from him.