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In Sanatan tradition, marriage is not considered merely a physical or social union of two persons, but a sacred spiritual bond of seven lives. There is a social belief that couples are ordained by God and that they are connected to each other at the worldly level. Yet in the contemporary era, cases of intense dissatisfaction, lack of communication and divorce in marital relationships are increasing rapidly. Reacting aggressively on any small thing, taking out mental stress on the spouse without any reason and ego conflict destroys the sweetness of relationships. India’s great economist, politician and sociologist Acharya Chanakya has given such practical formulas in his famous work Chanakya Niti, on the basis of which, by examining the nature and character of the future partner before marriage, married life remains full of lifelong happiness, peace and prosperity.
According to Acharya Chanakya, for the longevity of a marital relationship, it is an essential condition for the partner to be religious and cultured. Being religious does not only mean external rituals or show off, but also means faith in moral duties, charity, integrity and divine justice. A person who follows the principles of religion automatically respects dignity, family responsibilities and the sanctity of relationships. In adverse circumstances, when worldly support becomes weak, spiritual faith saves the person from going astray. A cultured and spiritually minded spouse keeps the home environment disciplined and positive, due to which the coming generations also get a good environment.
Married life is not always spent in pleasant circumstances; There are economic, physical and social challenges from time to time. According to Chanakya Niti, a person who lacks patience gets nervous as soon as a crisis comes and starts blaming his spouse. A patient partner provides mental strength in difficult times and remains calm and finds a rational solution to the problem. If before marriage it is checked how the other person behaves in a situation of stress or pressure, then most of the domestic disputes and mental anguish in future can be avoided in time.
According to Chanakya Niti, anger is the biggest enemy of a person and destroyer of intelligence. When anger flares up, man loses his sense of right and wrong. The behavior of an uncontrolled angry person can never remain normal; He deeply hurts the partner’s self-esteem by abusing or insulting him on small matters. Life spent with such a person is spent under the shadow of constant fear and insecurity. Chanakya suggests that one should choose a partner for marriage who knows how to control his emotions and believes in remaining silent or communicating calmly in case of dispute.
Speech is a direct mirror of a person’s personality. No matter how rich or handsome a harsh speaking person is, he can never gain lasting respect in anyone’s heart. Whereas a soft-spoken person resolves even the most difficult disputes with his gentle communication and decency. Chanakya Niti says that a bitter word can destroy the peace of an entire clan, while a sweet word mends a broken mind. If there is sweetness in the speech of the spouse, respect for elders and affection for the younger ones, then there is always an atmosphere of joy, harmony and mutual love in the house.
It is natural to aspire for progress in life, but if a person does not have the quality of natural contentment, he can never be happy. According to Chanakya, people who are constantly jealous of others and who always have a blind desire to get more, never understand the value of their partner’s sacrifice, dedication and financial condition. A dissatisfied person constantly puts undue financial and material pressure on his partner, due to which marital life gradually becomes hell. Only a partner who knows how to be happy with the resources available and understands the priorities of the family can truly make a home a paradise.
Acharya Chanakya has clearly instructed in the 14th verse of the first chapter of his Niti Granth that while deciding the marriage, priority should be given to values and family background rather than beauty:
Varayet Kuljaan Prajno Virupampapi Kanyakam.
Beautiful and lowly marriage: similar clan.
Through this verse, Acharya Chanakya explains to the society that an intelligent and prudent person should always choose for marriage only a girl from a family with good values and high moral character, even if she is ordinary or less beautiful in physical appearance. On the contrary, even if a girl from a family with low, immoral or unrespectable background is extremely beautiful and attractive, one should avoid marrying her. Marriage is always preferable only between families with similar social and cultural background. Physical beauty fades with time, but family values, modesty and decorum protect the family throughout life. By choosing your life partner by understanding these rules of Chanakya, the marital bond remains successful and happy throughout life.