look news india
In the era of digital age and dating apps, as fast as the structure of relationships is changing, at the same time some poisonous and mentally hurtful dating trends are also coming to the fore. The most talked about and emotionally damaging trend among these is creating a ‘backup’ of the new partner while in the relationship, even before the breakup. In relationship psychology, this behavior is called ‘Monkey Branching’ or ‘Cushioning’.
Just as a monkey doesn’t fully let go of one branch of a tree until it has a firm hold on another secure branch, some people don’t officially leave their current relationship until they find a new, safe, and convenient romantic option. This trend falls directly into the realm of betrayal, emotional infidelity and micro-cheating.
According to psychologists, people who show such tendencies are often suffering from serious emotional vulnerabilities and insecurities:
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Phobia of loneliness (Monophobia): Such people are afraid of the thought of being alone or single. They quickly find a new ‘support system’ to avoid bearing the emptiness and pain that comes after a breakup.
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Validation Addiction: Such individuals need constant external attention, praise, and emotional validation. When conversations in an existing relationship become routine or cold, they start looking for new adventures outside.
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Commitment Phobia and Low Self-Esteem: They do not have the courage to sit and talk in difficult situations or to improve relationships. Instead of fixing the relationship, they choose the easy and comfortable way of ‘exit’ from it.
| Major Symptoms (Red Flags) | visible change in behavior | impact on relationship |
| 1. Emotional Detachment | Stopping making plans for the future and showing disinterest in what you say | Loss of communication and warmth in relationships |
| 2. Excessive privacy on phone and social media | Changing password, turning phone upside down and hiding screen | Micro-cheating and the rise of secrecy |
| 3. Repeated mention of new ‘special friend’ | Suddenly chatting for hours with a colleague or online friend | third person preference |
| 4. Quarrel and gaslighting | to make unnecessary accusations and to bring up old mistakes | Creating artificial grounds for a breakup |
| 5. Loss of physical and emotional intimacy | shyness from holding hands, spending time together, or expressing affection | partner feeling emotionally isolated |
When a partner becomes attracted to another person, the first impact it has is on the energy of the existing relationship. He stops taking interest in your daily life, your joys or troubles. The conversation becomes a mere formality and the word ‘I’ starts dominating instead of ‘We’.
If your partner has suddenly become overly possessive of their phone, hides the screen away from you, repeatedly deletes chats or gets immediately defensive when asked if you’re ‘online’ late at night, this could be a clear sign of micro-cheating.
People who do monkey branching often try to prove themselves as victims to avoid ‘guilt’. They turn small things into big arguments and often say things like “Maybe we aren’t meant for each other” or “You don’t respect me.” By doing this, they deliberately create an atmosphere of breaking the relationship so that in the end the blame falls on your head.
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Communicate directly and clearly: Instead of spying on a third person when you are suspicious, remain calm and express your discomfort and emotions to your partner. Ask if they are satisfied in the relationship.
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Set strict emotional boundaries: Keep your rules clear about what is acceptable in a relationship and what is infidelity. Don’t ignore flirting or secret chats from someone else.
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Recognize your self-worth and move forward: It is better to walk away from the relationship with self-respect than running after a person who cannot respect the dignity of the relationship and considers you only an ‘option’.