look news india
New Delhi. Married life is a sacred union of two individuals with different thoughts, personalities and priorities. When two people start living together under one roof, it is natural to have disagreements on small things. However, when these normal bickering starts turning into daily bitter fights, tension and mental distance, then the peace and happiness of the entire house gets disturbed. The great diplomat, economist and sociologist Acharya Chanakya has presented many practical guiding principles for a successful and happy family life in his famous work ‘Chanakya Niti’. Acharya Chanakya believed that in a marriage where the trinity of discipline, mutual respect and trust flows, that life can easily overcome every challenge.
In today’s times, due to the hectic pace of life, pressure of office work and lack of communication, cracks start emerging quickly between husband and wife. According to Chanakya Niti, love alone is not enough to keep the thread of any relationship together, rather it is necessary to follow three fundamental life values. If married couples include these three rules in their daily conduct, then the old estrangement can be eliminated and the same old warmth and stability can be brought into the relationship.
According to Chanakya Niti, the most basic brick of any married life is ‘Mutual Respect’. Chanakya says that it is impossible for love to survive where respect for each other ends. Many times, during a fight, the husband or wife gets angry and starts making bitter taunts on each other’s family, past, appearance or financial condition. Chanakya warns that abusive words spoken in anger are like arrows that strike a deep wound straight to the heart and can never be taken back.
In family life, anything that hurts self-esteem should never happen inside or outside the four walls. Ridiculing or belittling your spouse, especially in front of other family members, relatives or friends, hollows out the roots of the relationship. Explaining your spouse’s shortcomings in private with love and patience and becoming a shield for his/her reputation in front of the society is the biggest identity of a mature and strong relationship.
Acharya Chanakya’s sutra is that anger is man’s biggest enemy and destroyer of intelligence. Most of the major disputes in marital life do not arise due to any serious reason, but due to the immediate reaction of one person on the anger of the other person. When harsh things start being said from both sides, a small matter turns into a big matter.
Chanakya Niti teaches that when the spouse is extremely angry about something or is speaking impulsively, the other partner should remain completely calm and silent at that moment. Remaining silent is not weakness or defeat, rather it is like water that extinguishes the flame of anger. When anger subsides with the passage of time, one should listen to each other’s point of view with a cool mind. It is very important to have clear and cordial communication between both the partners so that misunderstandings do not form within the mind.
The third and most important rule of Chanakya Niti is related to confidentiality of relationship. Chanakya clearly writes that disputes happening inside the house, personal weaknesses or financial plans should never be revealed to any outsider. In today’s digital era, it is often seen that husband and wife start posting their family fights on social media or share them with distant relatives and neighbors.
Whenever a third person enters into a marital dispute as a mediator, the problem becomes more complicated instead of being resolved. Outsiders often pretend to sympathize and find out the secrets of the family and then take advantage of the same. There should be such a clear boundary line between husband and wife that no matter how deep their dispute is, they will find a solution to it by sitting together. Along with this, there should be financial and emotional transparency in the relationship; Hiding important things or lying to each other weakens the foundation of trust.
Apart from these three basic rules, Acharya Chanakya has also advised to adopt some other important habits for household happiness:
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Economic synergy: There should be agreement and clear planning between the husband and wife regarding household expenses and future investments, because money stress often becomes the main reason for domestic discord.
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Similar Responsibilities: Instead of making household and family duties the burden of one person, both should share them together.
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Tendency to forgive: Every human being makes mistakes; Instead of revisiting old issues again and again, the feeling of forgetting them and moving forward makes marriage immortal.
These age-old ideas of Chanakya Niti are equally relevant in today’s modern era. If the husband and wife imbibe these three rules—mutual respect, restraint in anger and confidentiality of the relationship—then their married life will be free from every kind of negative stress and will be filled with love, trust and peace.