Is your parenting weak? Recognize these 5 serious signs and improve your relationship with your child.

Becoming a parent is one of the happiest feelings in life, but guiding a child in the right direction and raising him or her into a responsible, confident individual is one of the most challenging tasks in the world. Often, parents unknowingly commit such mistakes due to excessive pampering or excessive strictness, which have a deep negative impact on the mental and emotional development of the child. According to psychologists, weak parenting does not mean that parents do not love their child, but it simply means that there is a severe lack of communication, discipline and emotional balance in their parenting methods. If certain negative changes are visible in your child’s behaviour, then there is a need to take timely action.

The first and biggest sign of weak or faulty parenting is that your child starts shying away from telling you the truth. When parents start scolding, shouting or giving physical punishment for every small mistake, the child starts resorting to lies to protect himself. If your child does not share school events, mistakes, friendships or emotional problems with you, it simply means that there is no safe space for him at home. A strong parenting is one where the child can come without any fear and say, “I have made this mistake, what should I do now?”

If your child lies on the ground crying, starts throwing things or misbehaves with elders just to get his every demand met, it could be the result of ‘permissive parenting’. When parents, fed up with the child’s tantrums and tears, immediately fulfill every unreasonable demand, the message gets sent to the child’s mind that everything can be achieved by shouting or getting angry. Later on, such children are unable to tolerate failure in school and society or anyone saying ‘no’ and become victims of severe depression/anxiety.

Is your child extremely hesitant to meet new people or nervous before starting anything new? This is a side effect of ‘helicopter parenting’ or constant comparison. When parents compare the child with relatives’ children, classmates or siblings that “look how smart he is and you can’t do anything”, the child’s self-esteem is completely shattered. Apart from this, when the parents themselves start taking every small and big decision of the child (clothes, sports, homework), the child gets used to being dependent on others throughout his life instead of becoming self-reliant.

A major symptom of poor parenting in the digital age is that instead of toys or conversation, parents are handed a smartphone or TV remote to keep the child calm. If your child remains glued to the phone screen for hours instead of sitting and talking, eating or playing with family members and becomes violent when the screen is snatched away, it shows that there is a lack of emotional connection and quality time in the family. When parents are unable to give their time to the child, the child seeks refuge in the virtual world to overcome his loneliness.

There are some basic changes parents should make to improve their parenting style:

• Be an active listener: Sit with the child for at least 30 minutes a day without phone or TV and just listen to his daily routine, do not immediately judge or lecture him.

• Set clear, not strict, limits: House rules should be decided in advance and should be followed with a calm nature. Explain to the child that love will not diminish if he makes a mistake, but he will have to take responsibility for its consequences.

• Praise efforts, not just results: Instead of focusing on the child’s good marks, appreciate his hard work and honesty.